“For all eternity I want to sing the song of merciful Father love and Mother love. I would like to be a sacrifice in praise of divine mercy.” (Sister M. Emilie Engel)
Has it ever happened to you that you heard a song and loved its melody, and the lyrics perfectly described your soul’s feelings? Maybe it even became your favorite song. Venerable M. Emilie Engel described her personal ideal as “Child and Mother” – a child before God and a mother toward all people. We can say that the words Yes, Father! Yes, Mother! became her personal song – the song and prayer of her heart that gave expression to her personal ideal. God composed this song for her according to her strengths and uniqueness, and from this she drew all her strength.
Sister M. Emilie had a sensitive nature; she was very loving, unselfish, motherly, and kind. Her religious upbringing helped her to have a deep love of God. As a child of her time, her image of God was that of a severe and strict God. She suffered intensely under this image so deeply nested in her soul. For many years she had great fear and anxiety, even to the point of psychological distress, because she didn’t want to offend God.
Composing her personal song
The composition of her personal song was a process. God, the greatest composer, gave her unique characteristics, talents, limitations, and experiences that made the notes into a perfect, harmonious melody. During her life there were decisive elements guiding her to discover her song. In this article, we will mention only two.
During a workshop for women, she encountered Schoenstatt and the shrine. Her experiences in Schoenstatt became real moments of grace. She learned how to focus her love on God and the Blessed Mother in a personal way. The Mother of God became her model in life. Her heart was set afire for Schoenstatt and its means of self-education. Mary had drawn her to this place of grace in order to help and guide her to holiness.
God gave her the opportunity to experience a fatherly figure in the person of Father Kentenich. With his fatherly education, she learned to discover God as a loving and merciful Father behind all events in her life. From this conviction her Yes, Father! was directed to this newly understood image of God. Sister M. Emilie learned to abandon herself to Divine Providence and felt embraced by the heavenly Father’s yes towards her, which awakened her childlike yes in return. Her yes to God was no longer due to fear. It was a yes in childlike confidence and out of love.
Sister M. Emilie discovered her personal song and through it became free, strong, and joyful, even while experiencing at the same time her own limitations. According to Father Kentenich, her life is a testimony of God’s merciful Father love and a proof for the correctness of Schoenstatt’s spirituality and usefulness in educating free, strong personalities.
Playing her song
Sister M. Emilie discovered how to play this song of her personal ideal on the stage of life. Her Yes, Father! Yes, Mother! remained throughout the high and low pitches of life. This melody urged her to take heroic steps to sanctity.
- Yes, Father! Yes, Mother! when she experienced her limitations and compared herself with other sisters more talented than she.
- Yes, Father! Yes, Mother! when she was given the task of educator in the sisters’ family and felt inadequate for the task.
- Yes Father! Yes Mother! when she contracted tuberculosis. She played her song in the long months of hospitalization and years of pain. Her yes opened her heart to the purification of her soul through the long illness.
- Yes, Father! Yes, Mother! was also a melody which gave her strength to accept her position as provincial superior and to receive the graces needed to live her total dedication to God.
miracle child
Her song helped her respond to God’s love and become, according to Father Kentenich, a miracle child. She was a strong woman and mature maternal guide for many, a strong pillar for the Schoenstatt Work during the difficult years of exile.
Sister M. Emilie’s personal song describes her life. It took her from being a person suffering a deep spiritual crisis and emotional pain to becoming an authentic child before God.
Through her personal ideal, Sister M. Emilie shows modern people an ideal of holiness that has nothing to do with perfectionism, an ideal that sees limitations, weaknesses, and broken pieces not as an obstacle, but as a starting point for a rich, full life, and the experience of God’s endlessly merciful Father love.
Now, her personal song is sung with great joy by those of us who reach out to meet her spiritually. Let us pray that we can also discover our personal song so that we can also find in our own God-given song the perfect melody that gives us strength and encourages us to reach for the star of sanctity.