“…Fear causes me to draw back; with love not only do I go forward, but I fly!” (St. Therese of Lisieux, The Story of a Soul, p. 196). These words of St. Thérèse could easily be applied to Sr. M. Emilie Engel, whose baptismal day we celebrate on February 8th. She experienced both realities – a crippling fear and anxiety which caused her to withdraw into herself as well as the liberating and transformative power of love, which gave wings to her soul and allowed her to fly directly into the heart of God.
As a child and into her young adult years, Emilie struggled with deep-rooted anxiety and fear of God. It wasn’t until she met Fr. Joseph Kentenich and chose him as her spiritual director that this fear slowly began to lose its grip on her soul. In Fr. Kentenich, she experienced a reflection of the merciful Father-God. Her image of God began to change from that of a demanding judge, exacting utmost perfection from his creatures to that of a loving Father, who didn’t love his children any less because of their weaknesses. On the contrary, these very weaknesses drew down his mercy upon them in abundance.
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear” (1 John 4:18). Sr. M. Emilie discovered the deep truth in these words. The more she grew in the realization of God’s tender love for her personally, as his most beloved child, the more her love for him blossomed in return, and this love left no room for the fear that had dominated her soul for so long. Through love, she was set free from the fear that had bound her for so long.
What about us?
When we struggle with fear and anxiety, what do we do with it? First of all, it is important not to pretend, before God, that we are not afraid, that the fear doesn’t exist or doesn’t affect us. He is our Father. He knows us. Why else would the words “Do not be afraid” appear so often in the Bible? He knows that fear and anxiety are part of our humanity. And yet he doesn’t want us to remain there. He wants us to face and overcome our fear – but with him, not alone. “Do not fear: I am with you; do not be anxious: I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand” (Isaiah 41:10). This was the reality which Fr. Kentenich helped Sr. M. Emilie to see and to experience. God, her loving Father, was waiting for her to come to him as his small child, to give him her fears, to discuss them with him, and to place them into his hands, trusting that he would take care of her.
Of course, we know that it is easier said than done. As with Sr. M. Emilie, the journey from fear to freedom isn’t one that takes place overnight. But God does want to lead us to this freedom, to a deeper love for and trust in him, just as he did for Sr. M. Emilie.
So, what are you afraid of? What is making you anxious today? Put a name on it. And then bring it to your heavenly Father. He is waiting. He loves you more than anyone on this earth, and he wants to help you to grow in love and to cast the shadows of fear out of your heart. Let us learn from Sr. M. Emilie and turn to her for help, asking her to intercede for us the grace to realize the words of St. John in our own lives, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love cast out fear”!