Two Sides of the Same Coin

By Sr. M. Deanne Niehaus

Two sides of the same coin! Joy and sorrow; sorrow and joy. Amidst the trauma of war and in constant danger of death, Schoenstatt’s founder, Father Joseph Kentenich, composed inspiring meditations for the decades of the rosary while a prisoner in 1944. Let us take a few moments to meditate with him upon the Fifth Joyful Mystery, the Finding of Jesus in the Temple:

The Lord permits you [Mary] to suffer in Jerusalem
in order to prepare you for still greater sacrifices.
He must handle you with such firmness
so that you can one day stand beneath the cross.
We will remain still when God wants to form us
as instruments for the redemption of the world.
[1]

A SEEMING CONTRADICTION

Let us enter into, on one hand, the pain and uncertainty that Mary experiences in the encounter with her twelve-year-old Son and, on the other hand, the joy of finding her Son for whom she and Joseph searched for three days. Sorrow and joy—two sides of the same coin! In Luke’s gospel, chapter 2:41–52, we read:

Each year his parents went to Jerusalem for the feast of Passover, and when he was twelve years old, they went up according to festival custom. After they had completed its days, as they were returning, the boy Jesus remained behind in Jerusalem, but his parents did not know it. Thinking that he was in the caravan, they journeyed for a day and looked for him among their relatives and acquaintances, but not finding him, they returned to Jerusalem to look for him. After three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, listening to them, and asking them questions, and all who heard him were astounded at his understanding and his answers. When his parents saw him, they were astonished, and his mother said to him, “Son, why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety.” And he said to them, “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” But they did not understand what he said to them. He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them; and his mother kept all these things in her heart. And Jesus advanced [in] wisdom and age and favor before God and man.[2]

Referencing back to the prayer of Schoenstatt’s founder, we pray:

The Lord permits you [Mary] to suffer in Jerusalem
in order to prepare you for still greater sacrifices.

Father Joseph Kentenich considers Mary in this challenging scene as she tries to understand what God is trying to tell her in the encounter with her twelve-year-old son.

Mary most certainly did not lack anxiety or distress of heart. . . . She also suffered in a hard and bitter way because of the treatment she received from the twelve‑year‑old Jesus in the temple, something which she endured as a difficult hour of agony. That is why she exclaimed with such emotion, “Son, why have you done this to us? You see that your father and I have been searching for you in sorrow” (Lk 2:48).[3]

With Schoenstatt’s founder we meditate in the next two lines on how God takes Mary into a difficult school of education. God prepares Mary through this experience for a more difficult three days’ wait. With Father Kentenich we pray:

He must handle you with such firmness
so that you can one day stand beneath the cross.

Mary does not hide her pain from her son. But his answer is difficult to understand. Schoenstatt’s founder gives this insight into how Mary receives the challenging words from her son’s mouth:

Jesus’ answer, which directed Joseph and Mary upward to His heavenly Father, was, “Did you not know that I must be about my Father’s business?” (Lk 2:49). To her seeking spirit and her wounded heart, this provided abundant material for meditation and for inner reflection. This point is especially noted by Sacred Scripture when it says, “And his mother pondered all these things in her heart” (Lk 2:51).[4]

I MUST BE ABOUT MY FATHER’S WORK

What does Jesus mean when he says, “I must be in my Father’s house”? This phrase can also be translated with the words: “I must be about my Father’s work.” In either translation, Jesus refers to God as his Father. His divine sonship, and his obedience to his heavenly Father’s will, take precedence over his ties to his family.[5]

The Catechism of the Catholic Church gives a helpful explanation:

The finding of Jesus in the temple is the only event that breaks the silence of the Gospels about the hidden years of Jesus. Here Jesus lets us catch a glimpse of the mystery of his total consecration to a mission that flows from his divine sonship: Did you not know that I must be about my Father’s work? Mary and Joseph did not understand these words, but they accepted them in faith. Mary kept all these things in her heart during the years Jesus remained hidden in the silence of an ordinary life (CCC # 534).[6]

Later Mary will reflect upon the three days she was separated from her Son as he was coming of age. How many years did she ponder upon this event in her heart? Wouldn’t the day of his death on the cross remind her of the three-day search for him? Wouldn’t the joy of the reunion with her Son, again be repeated on the day of the Resurrection?

With Schoenstatt’s father and founder, let us meditate upon the last two lines:

We will remain still when God wants to form us
as instruments for the redemption of the world
.

PONDERING THE INCOMPREHENSIBLE

We join Mary and Joseph in pondering upon the words of the twelve-year-old Son of God. In silence, Father Joseph Kentenich invites us to ponder the difficulties we experience in life that we can’t understand. Maybe it is a health issue, or a relative that sees life in a different way, or it might be the struggle to say yes to God’s will in an important decision. We want to remain still in those difficult moments and ask Mary to help us ponder upon God’s mysterious ways.

Again, as in the other Joyful Mysteries of the rosary, there are great challenges on one side of the coin and on the other is a great joy. Mary struggles to understand the divine mission of her Son as she rejoices in having found him after the three-day search.

For Schoenstatt’s founder, the challenges and joys in his life were often like two sides of the same coin. Being put in an orphanage so as to get a good education; being ill of health and not being able to go to the missions so as to become a teacher and eventually found Schoenstatt; being a prisoner during World War II so as to be inspired to found Schoenstatt International, being tested by the Church so as to grow into a more understanding and merciful priest, etc.

What about our lives? Let us ask Mary to help us ponder in our heart the challenges we experience and thus discover the joy on the back side of the same coin.


[1] Rosary of God’s Instruments, see Father Joseph Kentenich, Heavenwards, trans. Jonathan Niehaus, American edition 4.0 (Waukesha, Wisconsin: Schoenstatt Fathers, 1992), 95.

[2] New American Bible (Revised Edition) (NABRE), https://www.biblegateway.com/,footnote, 2010 edition, Luke 2:41–52.

[3]    J. Kentenich, Mary, Our Mother and Educator: An Applied Mariology, ed. Jonathan Niehaus (Waukesha, WI: Schoenstatt Fathers, 1987), 113.

[4]    J. Kentenich, Mary, Our Mother and Educator, 113.

[5]    The New American Bible (Revised Edition) (NABRE), https://www.biblegateway.com/,footnote, 2010 edition, Luke 2:49.

[6]    https://www.usccb.org/beliefs-and-teachings/what-we-believe/catechism/catechism-of-the-catholic-church, 534.